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FUNNIES PAGE
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TEAM FORTUNE SAVES SEATTLE FROM GIANT MARTIAN SPIDER
INVASION USING UFO ANTI-GRAVITY BEAM
Just moments after being spotted and photographed by Sigma Squad leader Justin Thyme,
TEAM FORTUNE snapped into action and defeated the alien monstrosity using the newly
designed "UFO Anti-Gravity Beam" (C)(TM)(R)(patent pending), eliminating the threat before
emergency governmental services or news media could respond. Way to go TEAM FORTUNE!
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TEAM FORTUNE has been given exclusive Rights to Outer Space
A member of TEAM FORTUNE, speaking only on promise of anonymity, was accosted by Alien Overlord, XENU, Supreme Overlord of the Galactic Federation on December 11th, 2009, in a blaze of brilliant green light and cheap whiskey. XENU commanded that the above certification be created, and lo, it was so. XENU commanded a pen be created, and lo, it was signed. What can only be described as a cacophony of inter-dimensional yodeling ensued, followed by a burst of plasma, and the disappearance of both XENU and the Certification. The TEAM FORTUNE member noticed his scanner glowing earily. Burned onto its screen was the above Certification. Quickly he saved the document as a jpeg, and forwarded it to headquarters. Only moments later, his entire computer system disappeared, consumed by a singularity that lasted an additional 15 minutes.
So XENU has commanded, so let it be done!
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BIGFOOT SPOTTED!
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MUTATING SPACE WEENIE BAFFLES SCIENTISTS; TEAM FORTUNE CONTAINS THREAT FOR FURTHER STUDY
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NOT FUNNY, BUT ARCHEOLOGICALLY INTERESTING
The "Terror Bird" was the top predator for five million years, allegedly dying out two million years ago, long enough ago that it is impossible for mankind to have
been alive at the same time. But Lucky found this belt buckle made by Rainbow Metals of the Kwakiutl Supernatural Bird. If mankind wasn't alive back then,
why do Kwakiutl have this totem, with stories of the Supernatural Birds "chasing down men and cracking their heads open like nuts."
The supernatural bird was NEVER a sign of good fortune, only a threat to humans according to Kwakiutl "myths."
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Did they honestly expect us to believe this?
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WHY HAVEN'T YOU BOUGHT
ONE OF THESE YET?
OR
OR
https://www.cafepress.com/ufohowto.314251039
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Ratio Est Radius Divini Lumini
"Reason is a ray of the Divine Light"